I am in no way a fan of Valentine’s Day, as a matter of fact I am trying to start a tradition of spending some quiet time at the Great Sand Dunes National Park during that weekend every year. But I know the conflict of love and photography is something a lot of us struggle with so I wanted to share my thoughts on the topic.
It appears that all of us are in search of the perfect balance between a happy home life and freedom to pursue our passion. Being a woman I am not sure if I am at an advantage or disadvantage here but that’s the only perspective I have and can only guess how it compares to men. I don’t even know if being male or female really plays any role in it since one can have a very understanding partner (male or female) or quite the opposite. Some people might not be fine being left behind while we’re out on a photo shoot every weekend. It takes a special person to put up with us 
So if you are a significant other to a photographer this might be some insight that may help you better understand the person you’re with.
From what I have seen so far nature photographers (myself included) are a bit of solitary creatures. And it has nothing to do with our personalities but more with how we work. I know a lot of photographers who love to socialize and meet people at gatherings and art shows. But when it comes to being “out there” capturing the scene, we do best alone. And that’s where the challenge comes in. We want to spend time with our loved ones and even invite them on our photo trips. I actually love it when I can show someone that special moment when the light is perfect, the color is nothing like what they have ever seen before and they instantly understand (I hope) the feeling I get when I am able to witness and capture that moment. However, how may of us have been on trips where we could spend hours photographing a waterfall but in the back of our head’s there is that thought that others are waiting for you and they are bored, cold, hot, etc. Even if they are patient and not in any discomfort, that thought in your head can take over and impede the creative process. You feel rushed and not focusing on producing your best work. Where as, if I was there alone, I could focus all of my attantion inside that viewfinder where time has no meaning.
So we have to find ways to compromise. Obviously things are easier if you have found someone who at least shares your love of the outdoors. This way you can include them in a trip and reserve some alone time for the photo shoots. And I guess I should consider myself lucky in that respect, having found someone who I can drag around the world on my crazy adventures with a smile on his face. Or maybe luck has nothing to do with it. I don’t think I could see a future with someone who was not as passionate about the outdoors as I am.
And then there are the hours we spend alone in front of a computer or in the dark room processing what we have captured. Followed by more hours on internet photo forums talking about the images and gear (which we can never have too much of). Let’s face it, we’re not the easiest people to be with or around. For the most part we’re driven to the point of obsession to chase the light and capture it and sometimes we forget about the world and people outside of that viewfinder.
I don’t know if there is a happy ending out there for all of us. The optimist in me believes there is but people change and happy endings are not always in the stars. For now all I can do is try to step away from the camera from time to time and try to understand that I can’t always have it my way and that sometimes I have to compromise. And hope that the person I am with can deal with my random solo trips and that those trips and this hobby keep me sane so that when I come home I can be a better, more understanding person.
Very thoughtful and insightful blog Aleks and a subject I’ve thought about and been aware of for a long time. My wife and children long ago came to accept that when I’m shooting I’m not a lot of fun to be around. I’ve been through the guilt you describe of thinking others are waiting for me so I’d best finish and quite a few years ago came to the realization as family members did that when I’m in the shooting “zone” their well being is of no consequence to me. For that reason my travels have evolved into 2 seperate types of trips: family trips and shooting trips. On family trips I bring the cameras but make every concession to family time. They like to sleep in so I can usually get some shooting time for sunrise but if not, oh well. Shooting trips are an entirely different matter. I can’t remember the last time one of my family members went with me on a shooting trip. I always offer and they always decline which is a great relief for all of us.
Recently I’ve become more active and social within the photographic community and I’m planning a shooting trip in a couple of months with at least 1 more photographer. We’ll see how that goes since I’m so used to working on my own schedule for shooting, sleeping, eating, and traveling. I may go back to a solitary existence but then again, maybe not. Time will tell.
Thanks Bill! It’s great to hear this from someone who has been dealing with the same for probably a little longer than I
And I forgot to mention the aspect of shooting with other photographers. Which is usually fun and could be an incredible learning experience worthy of a blog post in itself. But like you said, each person has their own shooting style and habits that go along with it so it might not be for everyone.
Thanks for leaving a comment!
Aleks
Great subject Aleks, I’ve spoken with Aleks on this before, everytime it comes up something has changed in my life regarding a relationship. This subject can go in many different directions, for me in the past when I first started getting serious about nature photography in my early twenties, it actually ended my relationship. We both had seperates paths that we were going to follow. This freed up even more time for me to get out there focus on things and try to find my person style or at least just experient more often. I took full advantage and dissappeared only to appear for friends and family birthdays and other important social events.
After time passed I eventually found someone that wasn’t a photographer but was interested in it and relationship began. Nature photography is something easy to do if you don’t have a hobby and need one, this was fun because I got to teach someone something new at a gradual pace. Long story short, things were good for a while but my passion just took me away too often so we went our seperate ways. Free time out of a relationship helps your artistic eye develop but roaming from town to town like a gypsy drifter mutt took a toll on my heart once again.
This time around I met a girl that was ok with me leaving and being gone as often as I needed. She loves the outdoors but doesn’t like the like lulls thrown into it with photography. I was smart to find the balance a relationship needs and was able to give to both of my passions. The breaks from each other is that balance.
At one point in time along the way I was fortunate to speak to one of the greats, Marc Meunch and ask how he balances the family and away time. He mentioned 4 days is the perfect amount of time to immerse yourself into photography and have the oppertunity to come back with photographs that you can keep. Same as Bill has mentioned on family trips he can catch a shot here and there but the family doesn’t like to wait too long.
I do my best work alone but like to throw in a few trips every now and then with other photographers. That isn’t always that easy since I like to head off to unheard of destinations and most photographers don’t like the unknown, it takes away their assurance or possibility of great photographs. That’s a whole other topic I won’t get into. That is a piece of my story for now.. . .
Every relationship needs some sort of balance where neglect doesn’t affect both passions. Finding that balance is key.
Nice post, and very timely! I actually didn’t even realize it was Valentines Day. I’m so far from the “relationship” ballpark it’s silly!
You brought up a lot of good points. I’ve pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I’ll usually be backpacking alone. Many trips I do (especially winter trips) are very much based around the photography, including waking up at ungodly hours in the night, hiking in the dark, to odd out-of-the-way places, and long stretches of waiting for the light. Most of this requires a determination and patience that only photography provides the motivation for. There’s little reason for “normal” people to enjoy or even do these things. I think the best solution when hiking/backpacking with non-photographers is to go with at least two of them, but not just one. That way they can keep themselves company when you’re doing your photo thing. It works out well.
As Bill mentioned, photography-based travel would be even more of a nightmare for non-photographer companions. In fact I don’t think it would work at all. Most people would be bored out of their skulls if they traveled with me on a purely photographic trip. I even get bored myself sometimes!!
In the broader view, although I love photography I’ve realized that it does tend to lead me towards a more solitary existence. It’s important to balance that out somehow… and perhaps that’s the biggest challenge of photography!
Steve, thanks for sharing your story. It’s not easy and sometimes I think it would be easier to just be single and focus on photography. But I bet that would get old soon like Jack said. I guess grass is always greener…
And Jack, Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope you find that someone who will love you and your lifestyle and follow you around the world as you experience and witness these beautiful places!
I’m so glad I came across this post. I have to say I feel a sense of relief reading your story. It’s so right on!
I have come to accept that my friends (non photographers) will never understand why I enjoy going on photo trips alone. I’ve tried to take them along but have come to realize they will never “get” why I can sit for hours and wait for “the right light”.
I’ve recently been considering taking a photo workshop but have been wrestling with the idea. Not being a very out-going person the idea kind of scares me. I’m now not sure if I’d enjoy being around a large group. Over the years I’ve grown to enjoy being alone and doing exactly what I want on my photo trips.
I think Jack said it well. Photography leads towards a more solitary existence and it’s a difficult balance.
Laurie,
I’m glad you enjoyed the post and that you could relate to it. I guess that’s the best compliment I could receive for writing it
I have never attended a workshop so I can’t tell you the benefits of it. But I know that going out and shooting with other photographers is a great learning experience. Even if your shooting styles are completely different and you see and photograph different things it’s really remarkable just to realize what works for you and trying methods that work for others. I remember being out shooting with another photographer and at one point he went in a different direction to shoot something else while I stayed behind and focused on what I was shooting. Later on I went over to see his location and I realized that I didn’t like it that much. So even though I consider him to be a much better photographer than myself I was glad, and surprised, to realize that I can figure out works for me. That the trick is not to follow another photographer based on my perceived respect for him but stick to what I like. However, just having someone show you that different point of view and seeing what others see is very beneficial learning experience. So before you sign up for a workshop maybe it would be fun to just meet some of the people from the forums for a day of shooting. It’s free (other than getting there) and you’ll be able to judge how much you can benefit from working with others.
Cheers,
Aleks